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The Anxieties that Nobody Speaks About

"When you try your best but you don't succeed, when you get what you want but not what you need. When you feel so tired but you can't sleep, stuck in reverse. When the tears come streaming down your face, cause you've lose something you can't replace. When you love someone but it goes to waste, what could it be worse?" - Fix you

As much as I try to be the best of myself everyday, the healing process can still be a struggle. Some days my emotions just goes down the hill and I'm tired of picking myself up again, some days it just seems everything goes out of place, some days those heart wrenching words still haunts me and it completely drains me so dry. There are always days where I couldn't gather anymore strength to fight those negativity that seems to be ingrain in me. When I'm at my weakest, negative thoughts starts to resurface and I'll start to feel so small and alone.

Have we all been through that? Feeling so alone and it seems like nobody could understand how it feels?

"For when I am weak, You are Strong"

On bad days like this, on days that I question my worthiness, I seek help. Hallelujah, praise the one who sets me free. He never fails to place angels around me to remind me that sometimes, it's okay not to be okay. That we are all human and this too, shall pass.

Embrace all these emotions that you're feeling and truly allow yourself to just 'be'

Allow your emotions to flow as it is.

If you need to cry, let your tears go. If you need to rant, speak to your friend. If you need to be alone, rest and find peace within you. If you need to release anger, find forgiveness. When you constrain your emotions, you are allowing negativity to grow in you. Don't.

Acknowledge that your emotions are valid.

It took me awhile to allow my emotions to flow without judgment, to understand that releasing my emotions is not a form of weakness but a sign of healing. When you allow your emotions to flow, you open up space in your heart to love again. Letting your emotions flow as it is is a way of releasing negative energy from your system as you purify your heart from anxiety and stress.

I took a step back, slowed down my pace as I watch my emotions pass by just like clouds in the sky. I choose to sit with this and not let my emotions take control of me. I choose peace over chaos. I choose to embrace and not retaliate. I choose grace over hurt. Most of all, I choose to believe in my faith that this will pass. My emotions are just visitors that I could welcome without judgement so that they may pass by in peace. They will come and they will go as long as I choose not to act on it. These negativity will only have the power to disturb my peace only if I allow them to. How my emotions is going to affect me in any way in the next moment is entirely up to me. My peace and happiness is no one's but my own responsibility.

Practice self love, it's okay to put yourself first.

Top up your own jar. Know that you are enough, more than enough my dear.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to be able to forgive yourself. Many things happened in life that took us into different directions. It may not be where you want to be or where you've imagined it to be. But no matter where you are in life, take root and believe that you are loved. Don't be trapped by your guilt and keep moving forward. We can't change our past but we can most certainly change our future. Sometimes all we need is solitude. To enable us to reconnect with ourselves and dig deeper into what we truly want. To figure things out, rest and find clarity again. Sometimes it's okay to take a step back to move forward. In solitude, you'll find peace and quiet within you that opens up a space to be attune to who you truly are. When you've experience this connection, you'll understand how each of us are fearfully and wonderfully made. You'll be able to see how blessed and beautiful you are inside out, and believe that wholeheartedly. Your faith can move mountains. Believe and you'll receive. Soon, you'll find yourself where you're meant to be.

Focus on the purpose, not the pain.

Be healed and be whole again.

Even the best falls down sometimes and that's life. It is never constant, never stable but a hell of a journey. Nobody said it will be easy but it will be definitely so worth it. Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together. You may not see it now, but believe that it will come. When that day comes, you will understand why you're put through everything you are struggling now. The day will come by His time. So right now, at this moment, day in day out, just keep on trying. Keep on trying to be better, do it for yourself and for people you love and know that trying is enough. You'll grow stronger day by day and you won't even realize it. One day, you don't even have to try, this strength will just be in you and you have become the stronger person that you've always imagined yourself to be.

Scars of today, Strengths of tomorrow

Change is never easy, it will always rock your boat. It tests your beliefs, attitude and behaviors towards things you approach but without change, there is no growth. The sea is in us, we either sail the ship or sink it. Healing is a journey. There will always be good and bad days. So let the bad days be a reminder that even though it rains, it is pouring blessings. Let us all embrace every season of change and uncertainty. After all, we're all living in faith, hope and joy that each day will be better than yesterday. May we all strive to stay grounded, stay humble and stay hungry for things that sparks the light in us. Let the lights guide us home.

"By your stripes, I am Healed."

All the love,

Ashley Isabel Tay

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