"Am I Enough?" - Overcoming my Insecurities of being "Perfect"
"The reason we struggle with insecurities is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone's highlight reel." - Steven Furtick
How many of us struggle each day comparing ourselves to the other girl/guy on instagram, the body that they have, the luxurious life that they lead, the amount of likes they have, the good-looking spouses they have/had? I'm not sure about you, but I did and sometimes I still catch myself doing so. Often I find myself being envious of the girl that seemed like she had everything, or rather, appeared to have so.
But, really, how many of us are truly truly happy behind the photos posted on social media? Does living a lavish life, material goods, having big biceps equates happiness? In hope that as long as we try long enough, then we will start to believe this is happiness? No. Happiness is not something that we can fake it till we make it. The Rolex you've just bought isn't the solution to fill the emptiness in you.
Don't lead a pretentious life, yet empty heart.
When we leave this world, our Creator will not ask how many likes we got on our selfies or how many dates we have because we were hot or rich. He will look at our hearts, how we believed, loved and lived. There will always be someone smarter, someone better looking, someone fitter, someone with more resources, someone who has progressed further and that's life. Insecurities robs us out of our joy and kills us slowly inside. It is an endless battle chasing the grass that is greener on the other side. One day, you'll lose the moon while counting the stars.
Embracing Your Past
"God gives us hills to climb and the strength to climb them."
I used to be afraid of sharing my personal stories in fear of judgement and not being perfect in other's eyes. But now, I'm so done with being perfect, or acting like I am. Because truth is I am not perfect and never will I be. I am only human. I am no God, not a Saint, I am only here to serve as a child of God. I have made many mistakes in life, I almost got kicked out of school, ran out of home, broke my mum's heart many times and the list goes on and on. But here am I today, still breathing, still doing my best each and everyday, learning from my mistakes along the way.
"I knew no path of me. I simply took a step and then another. Ever forward, ever onward. And one day I turn around and looked back and saw that each step I've taken was a choice to move forward or even not go at all. Every day, every man has a choice between right and wrong. Between love and hate. And the sum of those choices becomes your life."
Everyone makes mistakes and it is entirely okay to have a past, who dosen't? The key is not to act like the past didn't happen, the key is to acknowledge it and work really hard to get over it. This, is not an act of cowardly, but a form of bravery, courage and strength to know that you are human, you have flaws, but you're not letting your past stop you. Instead, you are going to use this pain to be a better you.
Your Imperfections Are Your Gifts
"I am beautiful not because of who I am, but whose I am"
You are fearfully and wonderfully crafted in your mother's womb, so extraordinary made in your own unique ways and so beautiful in our Father's eyes. Your flaws are not meant to bring you down, but to bring you up. Your imperfections are not your weakness but are lessons to give you strength.
I am not the prettiest, fittest, skinniest, fastest or smartest in the room, but I am who I am, I don't try to be someone else but myself and I show up each day bettering not others but who I was yesterday. & that's enough, that's enough my love.
You are beautiful not because you are better than anyone else but because there's only you who can smile the way you do. Your smile brings light to the world. Believe that.
You don't necessarily need to have everything sorted out all the time, most of us haven't got it all sorted out as well. Who really knows what the future holds?
Just do today, just do today & you'll be fine.
I pray, that you'll fall in love with your unique self, may you accept who you were and love yourself for who you are and who you'll become, may you see the beauty just as how our Father saw you, may you know that your scars are what makes you beautiful today and everyday, may you know that you are strong in every way to have make it thus far, and may you know that you are deeply loved by the maker of Heaven.
"I am thankful for my scars, for without them I wouldn't know who you are."
Run Your Own Race
"We are all created for such a time like this."
Pursue your purpose, not the amount of likes you have. Chase sunsets, not people. When u focus on perfecting your craft, genuine compliments will come. People will remember you for your work, for the times you've touched their lives. Not for the pretty selfies you have or the "cool"photo you took. Stop comparing your journey with your friends, run your own race and own your destiny. We are all born in this world for a reason, we are called to make a difference in this world in our own individual ways. Turn your pain into purpose, fears into strength and find hope in faith.
Don't spend your life trying to fit into something that makes you feel any less. Find the passion that drives you so passionately that it sets your heart aflame, that excitement that makes you jumps out of bed each morning, ignite that fire within you that makes you so, so unstoppable. It makes you run the race so fiercely that you don't even have time to think of what's stopping you, because you're so focus on running your own race. The only thing you could focus on is what's on the end, knowing that you're doing what you are meant to do in this world, making a difference no matter how small, while remembering those who are running alongside you, cheering you on in your race.
"I will run to You To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the Spirit of God Yes, I will run the race
'Till I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace"
I do not know who reads this, but I will continue writing even if it only reaches a single heart.
I hope that you'll find peace in you. For a quiet soul is far more valuable than fame and fortune. A level soul, a balanced soul, a genuine soul - that is a gift from God.
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things"
All the love,
Ashley Isabel Tay